Terms of Endearment...

I was listening to an Ingrid Michaelson song and one of the lines says, "I love the way you call me Baby" (I'm totally not gay by the way). That started me on a strange line of thought. Who was the first guy to call his girlfriend baby? Was she insulted? Another one I wonder about is Pumpkin. Was he referring to the shape of her body or the colour of her skin? Perhaps her head was oddly shaped. A more recent one I have never used is "My Boo". I imagine that this term comes from the mispronunciation of the french word "beau"(pronounced \ˈbō\ ). Some ghetto dude tried to use it and said it wrong and it stuck. I think the best one is what the late Michael Jackson came up with for his third son, who he named after his second son for some reason, which is "Blanket". What does that even imply? That he was some sort of wet blanket? Did he put a damper on the craziness that was Michael Jackson?

If these terms of endearment can be out there, then I propose we come up with some new ones. Instead of love muffin, how about syrupy pancakes? Sweet heart can be changed to savory liver. Why not call the one you love "plywood"? No matter what you call the "cream in your coffee," or the "apple of your eye," make sure you really do mean to endear because if you call your significant other "baby" in the wrong tone of voice, you will catch a shoe in the face. Don't say that I didn't warn you.

Thanks for the vent session...