I Know You're Out There...

My parents are coming up next week and I am excited to see them, but the inevitable question will come. They will walk in the door, say hello to the grand kids and turn to me and say "When are you gonna get married?" It's an odd question to fear because I do want to get married someday, but I've been hassled about marriage since I was 21. Honestly, I think the real question my parents want to ask is "When are we gonna have grand kids from you?"

I am swiftly approaching 30 and it seems like the longer I wait to marry, the more people are interested in my love life... so I'm going to give you the lowdown right now on what my problem is. Lately, it seems like I've been attracting a whole lot of insane girls. Don't get me wrong, these are some beautiful women, but they are slightly off kilter. I don't know if it's a chemical thing or maybe I give of a pheromone that attracts the mentally unsound. A while back, I wrote about a girl who was interested in me and had her mom tell off my brother, at church, because I wasn't going out with her. I don't know about you, but that kind of thing tell me that I should be on the first bus out of town before I get stabbed in my bed. I can imagine her standing over me while I sleep, mouth breathing heavily and just staring, not blinking for eight hours (gives me the willies just typing it). If you are reading this and you have done these kinds of things, please consider me inapproachable or unattainable. I can't afford this kind of crazy in my life. Life is hard enough as it is.

Another type of girl that I've been attracting is the so-called "airhead". I was talking to some girls yesterday about this, and they were of the opinion that all guys are attracted to raw beauty only. First off, generalizations make me sad. Secondly, attraction to raw beauty may be true to some extent, but what good is having a mate that you have to dumb things down for? Most of my friends are witty and quick. If you are not, you quickly become a bulls-eye. I don't want to put any date in that kind of situation (sorry Paris Hilton. Not meant to be...).

Dream Girl, I know you're out there. Make yourself known.

Thanks for the vent session...