Thursday, April 30, 2009


I, like many others, have laughed at a guy getting hit in the junk. Most times, the only place one sees this action is on the ol' Boob Tube, and it IS funny, to me anyway. Being a male of the magnificent human race, one can't help but feel deep sympathy for another male when this happens to him, but at the same time it is hilarious. As you flip through the channels (especially on Satellite TV) you will run into at least one of these shows a week... It's a guilty pleasure. Even on YouTube and other sites that are similar, you cannot throw a rock without hitting one of these clips, which means it's a guilty pleasure for others as well. The few women I've spoken to about this subject seem to feel these shows are distasteful, humorless, and vulgar. But I know in their heart-of-hearts they can think of some man whom they think deserve a crushing blow to the family jewels. Well if you think it's funny on TV, just wait until you see a live show!

I had the rare opportunity to see such an accidental feat today at work. Some poor "John Q. Everyman" was walking along minding his own business. I'm sure he was thinking of some important task, or perhaps pondering the meaning of life. Needless to say, he wasn't paying much attention to where he was walking. A few of my co-workers and I just happened to be looking up when the fateful event happened. As he passed by us, he acknowledged us with a half-hearted salute, which we returned, but he failed to see the 1/2" EMT pipe sitting on top of our work cart, which subsequently collided with his tender bits. At once my co-workers and I cringed at impact, for we can vividly imagine the pain that he felt, then we burst out in laughter, that I am sure, added insult to injury. We DID inquired if he was okay, but only after the initial outburst of laughter. Looking back on this sad spectacle, I am not proud of the fact that I laughed at another persons pain, but you try not laughing at your boss when he is silently screaming while doing what looks like the pee pee dance in slow motion.

Thanks for the Vent Session. Please feel free to help me out with comments about grammar and all that jazz. Like I said before, I'm just a lowly construction worker and run of the mill evil genius...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

First Blog... How would you respond?

I've always wondered why people feel the need to start blogging. I mean, why the heck would anyone care what i wrote? I'm not a very remarkable guy, just your average construction worker. The only really big thing that stands out about me, is that I am a REALLY BIG guy. I have musings every now and again, nothing earth shattering, but it's just stuff I wonder about. So I've decided to start one to see what all the hullabaloo is all about. Please understand that i am not a writer, have never aspired to be a writer, or have the slightest idea where a writer would start any idea or topic. Also, please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors. I haven't figured out this Blog thing yet.

I am Polynesian. For those of you who don't know what Polynesian means, it's not some crazy religion, cult, or mental condition (most of the time), but an ethnic group. Look it up is you don't believe me!!! In general, Polynesians are slightly larger than the average American guy. I, for example, am 6'5" (6'6" with my work boots on). Because of my profession, my job sites may vary from week-to-week and I meet lots of different people. When i meet most non-poly folks, it never fails, I get the same weird questions all the time. I hesitate to say dumb because there are no dumb questions and people may honestly not know.

1) Wow, you are big. What do they feed you?
2) Are your parents/brothers and sisters as big as you?
3) I knew a (select any Polynesian Islander) about ( X amount of years) ago. Do you know him/her?

When I first noticed that I was getting asked these questions, I was in awe. These questions are innocent in intent, but if you asked any other group of people these same questions, they might be considered a little offensive and borderline racist. Consider if you asked some big White guy if his family members were as big as he was, or you told your African American co-worker that you knew a Black guy once 25 years ago, and wondered if they knew each other? People sometimes ask me these things on the street as I walk by them. Weird right? Could be viewed as insensitive. But after a little thought on my part, I realized that people who ask me these things, are just curious and genuinely want to know more about me. So now, I am fine and dandy. If you see me on the street and ask me these things, go ahead and ask. I will answer truthfully. And don't wonder if I am insulted because if I am... I'll just Judo Chop you in the neck... LOL

Thanks for the Vent Session.