Monday, July 13, 2009

Handle with Care


Today I had to go into the company shop because I'm switching job sites tomorrow. I filled out all the usual paperwork but was required to do a drug test. Feeling no urges to relieve myself, I stopped at a nearby petrol station to buy an orange Gatorade before going to the testing facility. These drug testing places are filled with people who are new hires at various jobs and people who do stupid things and need to test to keep their jobs. You can always tell who is who. By the time I turn in my paperwork, the urges was pretty strong. When they call my name, I am dancing in my seat. Needless to say, I enthusiastically finish my test. The whole time, there is a dude standing outside the door. The same guy has to test my sample.

Now, I don't know about you, but pee tester was never a job I considered. Does one wake up one day and say to himself, "Yes!!! Pee tester!!! It's all so simple," or is it something you fall into like pro wrestling? The craziest thing is these medical techs went to school to be able to examine pee, but let us not forget the doctors who have to oversee the pee testers. All those years in med school and the money to pay for that fine education to look at pee. What is the protocol if the sample is a weird colour? Do you comment on it, or is it bad form to do so? What if you forget for a second that you handled a sample and scratch your face? Is that a visit to the doctor or is a handy wipe fine? You know how the Bath and Bodyworks folks smell like their job... you get what I'm saying. Hopefully, they don't take their work home with them.

Thanks for the vent session...

1 comment:

Jacelle said...

ummmm. eww. The Bath and Body Works comparison was chilling. Now kindly find your phone. Adieu