Lately, fellow bloggers have been telling me to blog something. When I say "tell" I actually mean yelling at me (you know who you are). I usually write about things that happen to me, but nothing interesting has happened to me...well nothing that I am allowed to write about legally anyway (again you know who you are). So I thought I would flip on the ol' TV for some inspiration and caught a little bit of Dr. Phil or some other guy who was trying to help people with their problems. The shows subject was about irrational fears. That got the wheels-a-turnin' so I thought I would list a few of mine. Just to show everyone that I a human... kind of.
1) Spiders... give me the willies every time I see them
2) When I was in high school, my drivers education teacher told me a story once. He use to be a C.H.P. officer ( That's California Highway Patrol or Chippies to you non-Californians) and was at a hospital filling out a report, when in comes a guy to the emergency room with his finger in his nostril to the knuckle. He stared in amazement as this unfortunate man was wheeled past him. My teacher asked the paramedic what had happened. The paramedic replied, failing to keep a straight face and laughter out of his voice, that the man with his finger in his nose was picking his nose and failed to see the car stop in front of him. So now I am scared to death every time I feel an itch inside my nose while driving.
3) The Boogie Man
4) Door-to-door sales people. I hate being rude to them so I always hear them out. I guess I am more annoyed with them than fearful.
5) did I mention Spiders?
6) The dead eyes of porcelain dolls or even worse... Faceless porcelain dolls. My aunt had a faceless porcelain doll on her television set and I swear even though it didn't have eyes, it was staring at me.
7) Being thought of as a liar.
8) Drinking expired milk.
9) Carnival folk or "carnies"... Small hands. Smell like cabbage.
These are some of the irrational fears that I must deal with everyday. Fear is one of those weird emotions that can drive people to shut themselves inside their homes for 50 years. I was watching a cartoon with my niece called Astrix and The Vikings (great movie by the way). At the very end Astrix asks his village wise man Get-a-fix what use does fear have. Get-a-fix replies that fear is were courage comes from. For true courage is overcoming your fears. Never thought I would find a nugget of wisdom like that in a cartoon. By the way, if you are a Carney and are offended by my last item on the list. I am truly sorry about that. I thought it would be funny to include. If you have any complaints please contact:
Somebody who gives a crap or New Line Cinema for letting that one into Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. New Line Cinema will most likely refer you back to that first guy.
Thanks for the Vent Session...
